Raining Inside : October 10, 2007

The cold rides the wind as jockey does a racehorse. Bitter iciness touches the innermost parts of the body and creeps into your lungs. Each raindrop is a frigid lick upon the skin. From my lone window the lake appears to be in turmoil. The water thrashes about as would a drunkard. A familiar aura seems to preceed this orchestra of dreariness. A feeling as if somehow it resembles my inner being , that somewhere inside I have the same cold storm creeping about. To say that we as the human race do not resemble nature would be a falsehood of incomprehensible ignorance.

- Murderotika III ( Rayfield Benton)

PSA #1

Just to let you readers know the photos you see are ones I have taken myself. I'm an amateur photographer and I want to eventually do some professional photography so just check them out and tell me what you think.

Back from the dark side of the moon

Well Im back from Turkey and for reason i cant help but feel different . Everything feels weird when i come back you know. Life feels strange over here I know it sounds weird but everything here feels foreign. I must when i came back within myself i also feel really weird. Its not that type of unfamiliar type of weirdness but that kind of mishaped and misplaced type of strangeness. Mentally I feel exhausted and I know that all these side effects make it seem like I didnt enjoy the trip , but really in all actually I did its just the strangeness of returning that is strange and all. But anyways Im back in one piece and thats good enough.

Just a thought....

While im over here I have noticed many beneficial things that could enhance my living in the U.S..Their eating habits I have noticed are very healthy ( fruits, vegetables etc.). Also their hospitality here can be a universal tool for peace... they hold the door for one another , constantly are trying to be courteous , and also hold their religious beliefs with the upmost esteem( now im not saying theyre perfect or anything but I must say they seem alot happier this way). I dont know why know ppl say America is an ideal place lol I think my ideals of it being a sad place could be true after all. But what do I know ^_^

Home? Just Maybe......

The other day I visited the Black Sea , it has beautiful beaches and the towns built on its coasts are beautiful also. But while there I had an experience that I feared yet loved, while standing on the beach toes in the sand , sea breeze blowing fresh smelling water , and waves serenly caressing the sand. As you all know I like to be aware of my surroundings so my sense were on full throtle that day and i just happened to notice the sand being swept away from under my feet and I realized that every time i went to stumble from losing my balance that the wave would come back again and push more sand under my feet . I realized while looking out at the Ocean at that very moment that this funny feeling in my stomach was once something I felt back in Ohio ,it was the feeling of Home. I was amazed that in a totally foreign country , way apart from everything I love I find a place I would make my home , alone and serene forever more. I FELT THE LAND CHURN MY HEART TO BUTTER AND I FELT MY SELF SPREAD ACROSS THE LAND. I was taking in the real essence of a home.

INFERNO

Oh dear lord I swear the heat here is painful its about 104 degrees rigth now with no AC and no Fans. Its funny though because the family im with seem to be fine , and me on the other hand well im melting ... I mean I wake up and its like 95 already and its only ten in the morning and im like drenched with sweat( gross... I know). You can always spot a foreigner in the middeleast because theyre always the ones who look bewildered by the weather or they just have a different skin color ( hint hint). This heat is draining me .... and I have to take these vitamin pills for energy to keep up. I think this will be the only place on Earth where I fear the sun. In istanbul the sun reigns king , a virtually unstoppable mass of heat that loooms in the air grinning at me with that sinister orange red glow. I see now why some cultures worshipped the sun , its such a strong and overwhelming prescence , but still not enough to make me worship it ( call me stubborn). Not a single article of clothing i put on can help this torture. For example right now im wearing a white t shirt and shorts and im still dying of heat... and we all know that in America that would do us just fine most of the time. This isnt America.... this isnt the middleast ... this dear readers this... is the INFERNO >_<

These Brands own Turkey

Man I noticed today that everyone or almost everyone is wearing chuck taylor's kinda like how almost every black kid where air forces( not I)..... but anyways just like in America how air forces are popular and cost about 100 dollars , its the same thing for chuck taylors over here. Strangely back in America chuck taylors are cheap . But now that they're expensive over here im kinda upset because i want a pair so bad ( since i love chuck taylors alot) they have tons of new colors that I swear I havent seen in the U.S., and they look so cool. ^_^

I also noticed that LG has lots of markets in Turkey including AC ( wow) , Phillips is big here also and I havent seen an Ipod yet lol. Everything I can get cheap in the U.S. costs more here including a playstation two ( $369!!!!!).Also Coke is huge here , i mean like consumed at every meal huge, its bizaar( ^_^). Of course as we all expected Microsoft is prominent and did i mention that their windows xp runs and looks like vista or somethin linux like . BMW , Mercedes Benz , Honda , and Isuzu are among the very run of the mill cars which is very funny considering that in America a Benz is a luxury car.

Oh well what can I say im in a different country right? lol